Chengdu: Home to the National Treasure


It hates noise.

We went to the Panda Breeding Center yesterday. On a tour. With a bunch of foreigners. We heard many things, most of them to the effect of “I am vehemently against keeping animals in small cages, but this is for their own survival, so I will step down off of my soap box now.”

I beg to differ.

Any animal that won’t screw to save its own species is making a pretty obvious statement, I think. Ironically, we saw many many pandas humping things other than fellow pandas. Reminds me of seventh grade, when it was cool to hump things that weren’t girls. They are cute as all hell, though.

More pictures abound if you decide to

This one had enough of the sexual frustration of being a panda and finally took control of his life. I guess it really is like a prison for animals. Reminds me of Oz. The prison one, not the acid one.

This one had enough of the sexual frustration of being a panda and finally took control of his life. I guess it really is like a prison for animals. Reminds me of Oz. The prison one, not the acid one.

Ive had all I can takes, and I can't takes no more. Enough is TOO MUCH!

I've had all I can takes, and I can't takes no more. Enough is TOO MUCH!

The Lesser Pandas stole the show. Those rascally goofballs were awesome. Those little dudes were so active and playful that it was like watching a koala with plastic surgery and a better tailor working out at the gym. Actually, given the color of their coats, it was more like watching any wife living in the OC’s daily life. Except the pandas were a bit more naked, and a lot more intelligent.
Mangiare! Oh oh!

Cantare! Oh oh oh oh!

Appalachian Lesser Panda:

Ahm mah own cuzzin

Ah'm mah own cuzzin'

These little homies were amazing models:

Asian model face

Asian model face

Resting the ol’ bones after a hard day’s mandibular labor:

Stiick a fork in me...

Stiick a fork in me...

The end result of a bitch slap.

Im Rick James, Bitch!

I'm Rick James, Bitch!

I AM INVINCIBLE

I AM INVINCIBLE

Dedicated to Christine.

Dedicated to Christine.

Bunghole.

Out of focus, but the face is priceless.

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